I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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