He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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