good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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