i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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