It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
