Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have tasted many bathrooms
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
