I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
