i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
