he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
