Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
