I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
