How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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