Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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