So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
