i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
