thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
