well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
