I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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