no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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