Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
