I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
