Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
