you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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