If you die in college, do you die in real life?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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