i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
