Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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