Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
organizing the empties. That sober.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
