I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
