In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
