rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
