Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
