Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im holly from the hills drunk
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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