Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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