Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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