he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
