I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
