i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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