1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
