Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
