Reggie can tackle my bush.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
