He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
