Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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