My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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