it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
