I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
