After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
