the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
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I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize