We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
