I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
