He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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