i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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