Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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