WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
