We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
