This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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