is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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