Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
