What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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