Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize