he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
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