You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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