goodnight i made you a song goodbye
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
