why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize